Ten Things NOT to Say to a Mother After She Gives Birth…or Really, To Any Mother, Anytime.

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1. “I knew something was wrong!” — So if you were so insightful and knew something was wrong, why exactly didn’t you say something?

2. “I wasn’t sure you were going to be able to take care of the baby”. — Really?? What level of stupid do you have to be to not know this is inappropriate to say to, well, just about anyone.

3. “Does your baby always cry like that?” — Yes, babies cry. Get over it.

4. “Are you sure you’re feeding your baby enough?” — Well, let’s see. The baby is healthy and the doctors are happy, why aren’t you?

5. “I don’t think you should have another kid.” — Did your jaw just hit the floor? Sometimes comments are more about the person making them than the person receiving them, and you just have to walk away. 

6. “Oh my God, why haven’t you taken a shower today?” — Uh, maybe because moms barely have time to sleep, let alone bathe. 

7. “I don’t think you’re eating enough.”  …this person would criticize regardless, and does…

8. “You know if you breast feed your baby, you’ll lose weight faster.” — Yea, and a mom can lose at least 140-lbs off her shoulders by dumping this person.

9. “Is your baby normal?” — Yes, the BABY is…however, you might want to seek some help.

10. “You’re holding your baby too much”. — That’s because I intend on raising a caring and functional human being. I see your family had other plans.

I’m not going to name names, but you all know who you are. 

(Alternative name for this list, “Ten People To Rid Your Life Of, And Why”.)